Haven’t been here in a minute! But what else is new?! Ha! Okay, let’s jump into this post, shall we?
I have been dealing with a personal family issue. I didn’t know if I should bring it to my blogging fam, but I am stressed and need help! Like, seriously, I don’t know what to do. So, here goes nothing. I’ll try to keep this all relatively short, but ummm #longwindedblogger
The short: My (soon to be) 29 yr old nephew and his girlfriend (I use this term loooooooosely) have (an almost) 2 yr old son. They recently moved down to FL near my parents (like 5 mins away). And basically, according to my mom, they are “terrible” parents. ☹☹☹
- They barely feed the kid. Yes, you read that right. They apparently were only giving him milk up until a few months ago! The two were staying with my parents when they first moved down there, so my mom was able to spot this issue immediately. They basically said they didn’t know he was supposed to be eating solid food. *sigh* I have SO many comments about that, but let me stay on task. They are feeding him food now, but…barely. They don’t cook, they eat out constantly and buy very little food for the baby. My mom has informed them that they can’t feed the baby fast food, candy, etc, etc that they eat all the time. They understand, but are not consistent.
- They don’t do anything with the baby at all. My nephew hasn’t been working, so he’s home all day with the baby. But apparently, my nephew plays video games and smokes weed all day, basically ignoring his son. My mom says neither my nephew or his girl really play with or talk to him.
- The girlfriend apparently told my nephew that the baby “ruined her life”. (Oh. I forgot to mention, she’s 21.) Anyway, this is what my nephew told my mom. So, if she said these exact words, then clearly, that’s extremely sad. But I don’t know if these were indeed her exact words.
Those bullet points are the main issues concerning the baby. I should also mention my sister lives down there as well, and in the same building as my nephew. So she goes over to see them, checks in, etc. She takes the baby for walks and stuff…just to get the baby out and about. But my sis is disabled (her sight is impaired), so she can’t drive or do too much. She and I have talked and she shares the same concerns as me. She told me that she has also had numerous talks with my nephew and his girl about raising the baby.
For now, my parent’s solution is to keep the baby with them as often as they have time. My parents both have part-time jobs, so they aren’t always free. But they do get several days off (7-10 days) at a time, so they’ll keep the baby. However, my parents will both be 74 yrs old this year and while able-bodied, uhhh, they don’t have toddler energy.
There is SO much I’m leaving out because I don’t want to overwhelm y’all. But I wanted to blog about this because it’s been weighing heavily on my mind. I wish we lived closer so I could help. But I DID tell my nephew that I’d be happy to fly down and bring the baby to VA for a while. He said he was fine with it, but he’d have to ask his girl. I haven’t heard from him yet. My mom is supposed to remind him, so we’ll see.
So. *sigh* Have any of you had a relative like this? If yes, what did your family do? If not, what would you do if you did have someone in your family like this?
In the meantime, does anyone know of any resources I can direct them to? They need parenting classes BIG time. I have been searching the area they live in and can only find parents-to-be type classes. I have found free resources for the baby though (ie baby gyms, read-a-long/sing-a-longs, etc) and I’ve passed it on to my mom for them. I also bought them a parenting book, specifically for parents with toddlers. My nephew sent me a text, thanking me for the book and told me he was going to read it. I hope he does! And I bought the baby some books and learning toys, because as I said, they don’t play with him or anything! I sent this stuff to my mom and she kept a few things and sent some to my nephew. She said the baby was SO excited and plays with the blocks and book (it’s a talking book) all the time 😊😊 I’ll be sending him some other things for his birthday next month.
But I’d like to find classes, groups, orgs for them to get help. Also, they are low income, so they would need inexpensive/free resources. My sis (and mom) has shared a lot of info with them for services they can utilize (ie WIC), but she said they don’t seem to want to take advantage of them. It’s so strange and that’s a whole other conversation!
I would appreciate any help you guys can give, even if you’re not a parent. As I said, my mom and sis have been talking to them for months. But…knowing my mom and sis, I’m sure their advice is starting to sound more like nagging than advice, lol! My mom said she had a recent conversation with the girlfriend and it seemed to go well. She opened up to my mom and said she didn’t have a great family, so our family’s “helpful” dynamic is new and different and she’s trying to get used to it. My mom told me that it just seems like she was raised to essentially fend for herself growing up (another whole conversation). I (sorta) feel bad for the girl. Sorta. I understand her upbringing was not like my family’s…but yeah…I stop there. I could write several paragraphs on that situation alone, but I won’t. I just hope though, that the conversation she had with my mom becomes a turning point. Again, we’ll see.
Thanks in advance for your help!! And even if you haven’t the slightest idea of what to do, just send out some good thoughts and prayers for my family. I appreciate the spiritual help, too! BUT….I would SO appreciate any thoughts/ideas on what we can do. I feel like, if we all brainstorm and throw out ideas, maybe we can come up with something that can help them.
One last thing…for me, I can’t say, “Well, hopefully they’ll learn” or “All new parents are like this”. No. No, this is not that type of situation. This is two people that seriously had no business having a kid. Like, NO business (remember, I’m not giving you ALL of the details, especially about my nephew). And I hope I don’t get flack from the parents that are reading this. But… I think as mature adults, we can all agree that there are people out there that DO NOT NEED TO PROCREATE! These two are those people. Especially my nephew…omg…I’ll have to discuss him in another blog one day. Anyway…so now, we (my family) have to help because the baby is here. And of course… of COURSE, he’s a doll! My sis and mom says he’s so sweet. My heart just breaks for this little boy and I pray for him everyday. Ok, I’ll end here and again say thanks for your help!