I have this slight obsession with reading about relationships. I’m just a sucker for learning about how we relate to one another. I’m always curious about why a person is attracted to another person. On a daily basis (if you care), you can see a variety of people enter or exit a relationship via the internet. Yes, celebrity hook-ups are fascinating to me. I don’t obsess over them, but I do look at them and wonder why some people got together (or why things didn’t last). Again, I don’t obsess over them, as we all know so many celeb pairings don’t last long. But there are a few couples out there that fascinate me. This post isn’t about that, so I’m not going to go into any detail. Rather, I’m going to share this article I read recently about relationships.
The writer starts out saying he just ended a yearlong relationship with his girlfriend. He says it was a “typical relationship”, one that was born out of the need for companionship and not much else. He says going forward, he “would no longer repeat the cycle of falling in love, committing, and then staying in a relationship that didn’t stimulate my soul”. Then, he met an older woman, who would give him some pretty savvy relationship advice. The advice is below. I’m sharing this because when I read it, I just kept saying, “YES!” after each paragraph. Great advice for anyone, whether you’re in a relationship or not. Enjoy!
1. Understand the role of romantic relationships.
We’re pulled to people for many different reasons. We’re often pulled by physical attraction, the way they make us laugh, their honesty, maybe even because we feel they won’t trigger our insecurities.
We may feel comfort, affection, sexual satisfaction, etc., but the larger role of romantic relationships is to help us to grow into the best version of ourselves that we can become.
The only way you will find consistent satisfaction and fulfillment in romantic relationships is if you are dedicated not only to loving your partner and to being authentic, but if you are also dedicated to using that space to heal and grow.
2. There is no perfect person waiting for you.
Many of us have an idea in our minds of our ideal mate. Although it’s important to understand the core aspects that you desire in a partner, it’s important to not become so attached to an idea of a dream partner that you turn people away who have many (often necessary) things to teach us.
3. Be cautious of future building.
The fairy tale, the dream of finding someone with whom we can spend the rest of our lives has been programmed into our subconscious from a very young age.
Some relationships are meant for a moment, some for a season, and some for a lifetime. Our minds tend to create the trap of projecting a future with another person before we even know how compatible we are with them.
We can appreciate what the relationship has to offer us. We can even be committed to that person. However, be cautious when your mind starts selling you on the dream of a future and you begin to sell your partner on that idea.
You will know in time how compatible you are; relax and take your time. The quality of an authentic romantic relationship does not need to be diminished because there is no projected future. Take your time and honor what the present moment has to offer you.
If you desire optimal health, learn from those who are passionate about health and who really know their stuff. The same holds true in romantic relationships. Reading this article shows that you are on a path to higher experiences of love, and I applaud your interest.