Remember this scene in The Matrix:

Neo had to make quite the decision!

Do you ever think about the choices you’ve made? It doesn’t matter if you have regrets or not, I’m not going to get into that discussion. I’m curious about the choices, whether they were good, bad or in between. Lately, I find myself thinking about the choices I’ve made.

Here’s something random: I think a lot about the choices homeless people have made.  I’m kinda fascinated with how people become homeless. I’ll venture to say, most homeless people aren’t born into that situation. [Note, I said MOST are NOT born into that situation. I realize some people DO grow up in poverty/homelessness.]  For those that did not, I’m always curious as to how they got to that point. I think specifically about people that had good jobs, a nice house/life and lose it all. I’m not interested in how they lost it all. I’m interested in what happened after they lost it. What choices did they make? I could get into a serious discussion right now, but I’ll spare you. But…curious minds want to know!!

Ok, moving on…

In case you didn’t know, I’ve been unemployed for 21 months. I know, I know…BUT, don’t cry for me Argentinnnnaaa! (Sorry, I had to do it.) Seriously, don’t worry or feel bad. One could say, it is what it is. The economy is still pretty sluggish and while jobs do come my way (I’ve interviewed for several), they just haven’t panned out. Happens. *shrugs*

Now, I could sit back and play the blame game for my situation. But there’s something else that comes to mind: choices. I could go into detail about how I feel the choices I’ve made landed me where I am today. But again, I’ll spare you all my personal dissertation. Instead, I’ll give you a scenario that I think about all the time from time to time.

We have to go back to 2005, when I decided I’d quit my nice, but (very) low paying job and go to grad school full-time. I wanted to work in higher ed and needed to obtain my master’s degree. I had a few options on how to carry this out, but I chose the one that I thought suited me the best. Turns out, it probably wasn’t the best idea. My decision was fine, in that I ended up meeting a lot of great people and I got the experience of living in a different city. I will always be grateful for the opportunity. However, as grateful as I am, I wish I would’ve thought things through a little more. Uh, what’s that saying? Oh yeah, “hindsight is 20/20”.

{Sidebar: I was just thinking about the people I met in grad school and I realized, out of all the people I met, I only speak to less than a handful. And I met a lot of people. So, it makes me think (even more) about the decision I made and wonder if it worth it. Sure, given the friendships I’ve retained. But on the flip side, I look at where I am now and feel conflicted.} 

I can’t do anything about all that now, what’s done is done. But I was thinking about the choices I’ve made in life and hope that the next major decision I make, I give it more thought. Sometimes, we have to take a leap of faith and pray for the best outcome. And sometimes it works, other times it doesn’t. Those are the breaks, right?


p.s. I’m thinking about doing a video blog one day. Would you like to see this? If yes, comment below or on The Facebook aka Faceplace, as Betty White refers to it. 😛


6 thoughts on “

  1. I think about the same things sometimes. Like if I had left this company or married this girl or finished school early, etc. etc. But one thing I do know is that no matter the decisions, God’s strength is made perfect in my weakness – my weakness in the ability to make the optimum choices at all times. God still steps in and makes sure that though my path to His destiny for me has been deferred, it hasn’t been lost.

    We all meet people in our lives that have touched us in some way, whether that impact has been small or large. Even the chance meetings have meaning, good or bad. Who would I be had I not made the choices I’ve made? what kind of person would I be? Would I be content? Would those choices have gotten me closer to what I think my destiny in life is? We may never know. And that is all the more reason to trust God that He can help us get to where we really need to be, not where we THINK we should be or want to be. Life is full of faith lessons in that regard. That’s what we asked for right? Strong faith? Yet, faith untested remains weak. Like if you never workout, your muscles become soft. Yet, a little resistance builds them up. The same goes with faith.

    I had the same questions as you about the homeless. But my wife helped me to understand that more often than we think, homeless people are those who are mentally ill or became mentally ill and either lost their jobs or it became too expensive for family members to take care of them. And thanks to our great health care system, probably didn’t have enough money to continue treatment and became homeless. I never thought of it that way before.

    Hang in there. Right now, I think that a great life story is being fashioned that will be a blessing to others. There’s an old saying that I used to tell myself a while back when I got discouraged. I used to say, “God expects you to be right where you are.” Meaning that God already knew you would be in this situation and He already knows how He’s going to change it.

    1. Mrs. B says:

      That’s such a wonderful statement, that God knows I’d be here and He knows how He will change it. I love that and I needed to hear it. I was reading about something similar a few weeks ago. I do believe it. Sometimes, I just think of things like this out of boredom. I don’t dwell on it because I know I’m here for a reason. Still, it can be tough. But I know we will move out of this space eventually. Faith in God is key and I pray daily that He strengthens mine.

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