Having It All?

Once upon a time, I remember dreaming that I’d like to have the career, the husband, the kids, and everything else that goes along with that. And while I still have those dreams, I have…re-imagined them, if you will. The more I thought about it, the more I realized, having it all is going to take a lot of work! Now, I’m not saying I’m a lazy bum, but as I get older, I realize how precious time is to me. I don’t know if I want to spend my days trying to pull off having it all. In fact, I know now that only a few things matter to me.

One is the career situation. I had all these career plans that have not gone as planned by any means. But, that’s ok! I’m moving on and learning that everything truly happens for a reason. And, sometimes, you can plan all you want, but the only real plan is God’s. Sometimes, you have to step aside and let God do the work. I finally figured out that I don’t really want a career, in the traditional sense of the word.

What I want to do is something that makes me and others happy, while also helping others in some kind of way. I’ve realized that I’ve been following (consciously and subconsciously) what everyone (friends, family, society) says you should do. You go to school, you get a degree(s) and then you start a career. Obviously, it’s not that simple, or even in that order sometimes, but that’s essentially what society dictates. With all of the trouble I’ve been having with what I thought should be my career, I’ve had to step back and take another look at what I really want out of life. While I’ve loved advising students, I’ve always known that I didn’t want to do it for the rest of my life. I’ve always wanted to be a writer. It’s something that’s been in my heart for a very, very long time. So, during this current unemployment, it hit me. I should start writing! And do it for real this time!

Another goal (it’s weird to call it a goal), is to have a family. While I feel a bit stressed (tick, tick, tick), I’m learning to just be patient. If it happens, it happens. We’ll be ready. But it’s still stressful to think about, given our current living situation and my lack of a job. However, as I said, everything happens for a reason. I have to remember that just because *I* don’t see a way, doesn’t mean that God doesn’t see a way. In fact, when I really started thinking about it, it would be perfect for us to have a family now. Yes, financially it doesn’t seem wise, but since I’m not working, I’m automatically able to be home with a child. I wouldn’t have to worry about taking off work for an extensive time. And I don’t have to worry about daycare costs. Hmm, sounds like a win-win to me!

Let me wrap by saying, maybe having it all is your goal, but you feel like you’ll never get there. Don’t fret. Maybe you have to do what I did and think about it differently.

Keep the faith, folks!

-t

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4 thoughts on “Having It All?

  1. I think we’ve all fallen victim to society’s way of thinking. Instead we should create our own personal definition for having it all, like you did! To answer your question, I would say yes, we can have it all, in our own way!

  2. Interesting perspective! Sometimes I think The Matrix was more gospel than people realize in how we’re sold a lie and live within that lie when true reality awaits behind a veil hidden from us by this man-made prefabricated way of life. If we are courageous enough to peek on the other side, our lives will be so more fulfilling.

    I pray that God gives you discernment about having children. My wife and I had the same fears. She took a pay-cut last year to work for a daycare. She is now 8 months pregnant with our first child. Since then, the daycare has become a horrible place to work. Sometimes she doesn’t even know if she’ll get paid. When she goes on maternity leave, she’ll take an even bigger hit. And she doesn’t know if she’ll have a job this summer.

    Had we held back waiting for the perfect season, we would still be waiting. If YOU are ready, then it’s time. Life will never provide perfect seasons in our lives to make choices. And what we think are good seasons, may end up bringing more trials than we thought. Our challenge is to adjust and to have faith that despite the circumstances, God will provide and take care of us. That is the spice of life – navigating the different hills and valleys of life and coming out fine – our faith and courage increased.

    In the end, it is always between your family and God. May He bring you peace and comfort knowing your heart and may He embolden you with the courage to start a God-fearing family that will bring Him Glory.

    1. Congrats to you and your wife!! I’m so happy for you two.

      You are so right on with everything you’ve said here. “Our challenge is to adjust and to have faith that despite the circumstances, God will provide and take care of us.” This says it all in terms of how I’ve come to feel. I’ve been praying that God will show us the way and will be there for us when we are ready to start a family. We are ready (more than ready) and so, if it happens, we know that He will take care of us. I have faith in Him and I know everything will work out according to His plan.

      Thank you so much for these words John! And all the best to you and your wife! What an amazing blessing 🙂

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