Thanks Kanye, for that appropriate quote to sum up my mindset.
Many folks know that my husband and I have been steadily looking to move out of New York. It’s been a frustrating journey to say the least. But lately, for the past few weeks, I’ve been feeling super hopeful. Like, unbelievably hopeful about where we’ll be next year. I’ve been praying about our situation and asking for the Lord to lead me in the right direction. For months, I’ve been asking if writing is what I should be doing to get us to where we need to be and it’s been heavy on my heart. Heavy in a good way though, which I know doesn’t make sense. Let’s just say, my heart strongly desires to write and for me to be a writer. I think I’m finally on my way towards doing what I was put on this Earth to do. I’m not worried about the money aspect. I know it will come if I focus on the love and the art of writing. I’ve been writing a lot lately and I’m finally in my zone. It feels unbelievably good. It feels more than right. I feel like I was meant to do this and with each word I write, I see my future so clearly.
It has been difficult to get to this point. I have been standing in my way. I have been blaming others/other things, for standing in my way. It feels good to clear out the negativity and just see writing as positive and joyful. It’s all I’ve wanted and I’m finally getting to my happy place. I look forward to writing each day and I’ve yet to get any writer’s block! It’s amazing because this entire year, I’ve been feeling like I was blocked. At least, I kept telling myself I was blocked. But I haven’t been blocked at all. I’ve been extremely open. I just had to move past the fears, the negativity. It’s amazing the lies the devil will tell you. He’s been telling me some outlandish lies to stop me from writing. I’m not the most religious person, but I believe in God. And if you believe in God, then you also know the devil is real. Evil is real. And the devil will stop at nothing to keep you from your goals. He’ll make sure you live in fear and stop short of achieving all that you’ve prayed for to God. It’s just amazing when I truly step back and see it all. I’ve been living in a world of “no”, “cannot”, and the worst of them all, “what if”. I’m the queen of thinking “what if”. But the devil puts that in my head because he knows what it does to me. It’s been keeping me from writing all this time. I hate it. I’ve been feeling like a failure. But I’ve pushed past all the “no’s” and “cannot’s”. I’m ready for “yes I can” and “yes I will”. I can do all things through God! Sorry to testify, but I’ve been put to the test this past year! We’ve all been tested and it’s just a matter of who we will listen to to get us through it. Thankfully, gratefully, I’ve been listening to God and leaning on His wisdom and not my own. I don’t know why I didn’t do this sooner, but I’m glad I’m finally on my way!